I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
