Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We had sex on a dog bed..
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