ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you never un-have a 4some
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize