I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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