I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
