Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
