Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
