Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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