I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
