were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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