You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
