I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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