I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
