What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize