I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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