you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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