i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
