Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
