11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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