Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.