You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.