Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I FOUND THE LEGS
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.