dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
