Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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