its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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