Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
