At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
