Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
