My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I love you.
Bad choice
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
