Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
