the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????