my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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