it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Fuck appropriateness.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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