just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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