I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
