Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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