he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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