Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
