Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why is there bacon in the couch?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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