I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
