man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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