there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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