Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
