Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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