Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
