I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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