So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
