Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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