If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
