There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
no, he came in my armpit
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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