Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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