It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
