I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
