My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize