note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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