She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
