I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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