And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
